St Patricks Day Funny One Liners

Break out your best green attire and maybe even a shamrock pin, because St. Patrick's Day is just around the corner! No one can take a joke like an Irishman on March 17, so we found the best St. Patrick's Day jokes to get the whole room Dublin over with laughter. 😂

There are tons of ways to celebrate this magical holiday. Whether you plan to spend the day cooking traditional Irish dishes with family, mixing some St. Patrick's Day drinks, or making easy St. Patrick's Day crafts with your kids, you can make everyone laugh with these funny jokes. They're even funnier when you know the real history of St. Patrick's Day! In our list, we have you covered with dad jokes, knock-knock jokes, and Irish jokes. Plus, there are some St. Patrick's Day jokes, riddles, and puns that little leprechauns... er, the kids can get a kick out of. We even found the perfect one-liners for that necessary St. Patrick's day Instagram caption.

So, what are you waiting for?! Try these on your friends and family—just don't forget to practice your Irish accent first.

Funny St. Patrick's Day Jokes

chocolate labrador wearing funny glasses on saint patrick's day

Sue Zellers Getty Images

  • Why did the leprechaun cross the road on red? To get to the pot of gold faster!
  • What did one leprechaun ghost say to the other? Top o' the moaning to ya!
  • Why do frogs love St. Paddy's Day? Everyone's wearing green!
  • Why couldn't the leprechaun pay his bar tab on St. Paddy's Day? He was a little short!
  • What do you call a leprechaun who collects used cans, newspapers, and plastic bottles? A wee-cycler.
  • That last brew was a jig mistake.
  • What do you tell a smart aleck on St. Patricks Day? You're so clover.
  • What does Katy Perry sing on St. Patrick's Day? I kissed a leprechaun and I liked it.
  • Jameson on St. Patrick's Day? It's worth a shot.
  • What do you call a great photo on St. Patrick's Day? Pitcher-perfect.
  • What do you call a party on March 17? A shamrock' good time!
  • What does a leprechaun say about a hard riddle? I can't make head nor teal of it.
  • Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland? He wanted the parade to be the only thing long and green in town!
  • How can you spot a jealous shamrock? It will be green with envy.
  • Why should you never lend money to a leprechaun? They always come up short.
  • What did the naughty leprechaun get on Christmas? A pot of coal!
  • What do you call a person who robs you on St. Paddy's Day? A lepre-con!
  • Who catches the lepre-cons? Under-clover cops!
  • What did St. Patrick say to the snakes? He told them to hiss off!
  • How did the leprechaun win the race? He took a shortcut.
  • How does a leprechaun work out? By pushin' his luck!
  • What's Irish and sits outside all day? Patty O'Furniture!

    St. Patrick's Day Jokes for Kids

    st patricks day hat

    Lynne Gilbert Getty Images

    • What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green? A Jolly Green Giant!
    • What do you get when you do the Irish jig at McDonald's? A Shamrock Shake.
    • What kind of bow can't be tied? A rainbow.
    • Where can you always find gold? In the dictionary.
    • What do you call a fake Irish stone? A sham-rock!
    • Why are leprechauns so good at gardening? They have green thumbs!
    • When does a leprechaun cross the road? When it's green!
    • What do you say when you lose a game on St. Patrick's Day? Game clover.
    • What do you call a big Irish spider? A Paddy long legs!
    • Why should you never iron a four-leaf clover? You don't want to press your luck!
    • What does a leprechaun have for breakfast on St. Paddy's Day? Green eggs and ham!
    • What kind of spells do Irish wizards cast? Lucky charms.

      Irish Jokes

      st patricks day irish jokes

      levers2007 Getty Images

      • When is an Irish potato no longer Irish? When its a French fry!
      • Why are the Irish so concerned with Global Warming? They're into green living.
      • What do you call an Irishman with a case of chickenpox? A lepper-chaun!
      • How do you know an Irishman is having a great time? He's Dublin over!
      • What do you call a bulletproof Irishman? Rick-O-Shea!
      • What did the Irishman say to his lass after she broke up with him? I'm already clover it!
      • Why shouldn't you iron a four-leaved clover? You don't want to press your luck.
      • An American Lawyer asked his Irish client, "Finnegan, why do all Irishmen answer a question with a question?" Finnegan replied, "Bullox! Why'd you think that?"

        St. Patrick's Day Knock-Knock Jokes

        st patricks day knock knock jokes

        mediaphotos Getty Images

        • "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Irish." "Irish who?" "Irish you a happy St. Paddy's Day!"
        • "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Ireland." "Ireland who?" "Ireland you some money if you pay me back!"
        • "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Warren." "Warren who?" "You warren anything green for St. Patrick's Day?"
        • "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Clover." "Clover who?" "Clover here and I'll tell ya."
        • "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Pat." "Pat who?" "Pat your jacket on, we're late to the St. Patrick's Day parade!"
        • "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Irish." "Irish who?" "Irish you'd kiss me!"
        • "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Shepherd." "Shepherd who?" "Shepherd spy is watching you!"
        • "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Paddy." "Paddy who?" "The life of the Paddy!"

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          Source: https://www.thepioneerwoman.com/holidays-celebrations/a38729763/st-patricks-day-jokes/

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